The COVID-19 quarantine and social distancing guidelines have been difficult on us musicians who rely on being able to play with others in order to improve and take delight in our craft. There has never been a stretch of time in the history of the Fiddlers of the Genesee where we have gone so long without the comradery of jam sessions or the pleasure of entertaining others at gigs.
One of FOG’s own, B.J. Cunningham, has helped to lighten our hearts during this time through her regular distributions to our members entitled “Thinking of You” with sayings, quotes, and jokes that she collects. These clever musings tie together the timeless inspiration of music with the zeitgeist of these times. Below is a sampling for your enjoyment.
🎻 A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. – Leopold Stokowski
🎻 Nothing is more beautiful than a guitar, except, possibly two. – Frederic Chopin
🎻 After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. – Aldous Hu
🎻 Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. – Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name
🎻 Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent. – Victor Hugo
🎻 One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. – Bob Marley
🎻 Without music life would be a mistake. – Friedrich Nietzsche
🎻 Music, a companion in pleasure, a remedy in sorrow. – Johannes Vermeer
🎻 The true beauty of music is that it connects people. It carries a message, and we, the musicians, are the messengers. – Roy Ayers
🎻 People ask me how I make music. I tell them I just step into it. It’s like stepping into a river and joining the flow. Every moment in the river has its own song. – Michael Jackson
~ Clever Quotes~
🎻 I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you play the stereo at max volume, it’s almost like the other people can’t see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow. – Chuck Klosterman
🎻 A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn’t. – Tom Waits
🎻 Only become a musician if there is absolutely no other way you can make a living. – Kirke Mechem
🎻 Practicing social distancing guidelines, minimum safe distance between street musicians and the public:
- Violinist: 25 feet
- Bad violinist: 50 feet
- Tone deaf guitar player who knows three chords: 75 feet
- 15-year-old electric guitar player with Nirvana fixation: 100 feet
- Bagpiper: 50 miles
🎻 What happens if you play country music backwards? Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
🎻 What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle? No one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.
🎻 How do you make a million dollars playing a hammered dulcimer? Start with two million.
🎻 And for the FOG banjo players:
- What did the banjo player get on his SAT exam? Drool!
- Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players? It saves time in the long run!
- Female five string banjoist shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping mall: “Don’t forget sweetheart, I need a new G string!”
🎻 Three violin manufacturers have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy. After years of a peaceful co-existence, the Amati shop decided to put a sign in the window saying, “We make the best violins in Italy.” The Guarneri shop soon followed suit, and put a sign in their window proclaiming, “We make the best violins in the world.” Finally, the Stradivarius family put a sign out at their shop saying, “We make the best violins on the block.”
🎻 And now, a little “play on notes”…
C, E flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors,” and E flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them and after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me, I’ll just be a second.”
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, “Get out now! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”
The next night, E flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a three piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender, who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized, says, “You’re looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development.” And in fact, E flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au natural. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest.
So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to ten years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he’s only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
🎻 If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should’ve been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19.
🎻 I washed my hand so much due to COVID-19, that my exam notes from 1995 reappeared on my hands.
🎻 Our cleaning lady just called. She will be working from home and will send us instructions on what to do.
🎻 Home schooling going well. Two students suspended for fighting, one teacher fired for drinking on the job.
🎻 You thought dogs were hard to train? Look at all the humans that can’t sit and stay.
🎻 Dear Netflix, can you please turn off the, “are you still watching” feature? We are still watching, I don’t need this kind of judgment in this time of uncertainty. If you could please update it with a, “are you sure you want to eat that?” notice that would be much more helpful at this time. – boredpanda.com
🎻 Quarantine Diary
- Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to last out this pandemic.
- Day 1 + 45 minutes: I am at the supermarket because I wanted a Twix.
- Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she’s my wife. She seems nice.
🎻 Song lyrics for quarantine:
- “Don’t stand so close to me”…The Police
- “You can’t touch this”…MC Hammer
- “Dancin’ with myself”…Billy Idol
- “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine”…R.E.M.
- “My loneliness is killing me”…Britney Spears
- “Bored in the house and I’m in the house bored”…Curtis Roach